Bemoaning my lack of independence after last month’s surgery a friend reminded me that interdependence is a worthier goal.


There is nothing to compare with the feeling of regaining the ability to do my own self-care and while that is precious, recognizing and then asking for help is very foreign.


I, like most of my friends and family, have been conditioned to value self-reliance. Depending on others is what children, the frail elderly and handicapped must do. I have been fortunate in my life experience to “be of service” and it has been hugely fulfilling.  Now I am feeling the usefulness and value of being a grateful recipient.


While lying on my back contemplating the past month since my surgery I realized how much better I had become at asking for help. It’s been an awakening and, I hope, a core addition to my self-care toolkit.