Aging with Spirit: Living the Questions
By Ellen Ryan
“…be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and
like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now. Rainer Maria Rilke
As the 19th century German poet Rilke wrote in Letters to a Young Poet, answers and wisdom don’t come easily in life.
When I was a teenager, I sought out black and white answers to many questions. I was frustrated when no one could tell me what the lyrics of a song ‘meant.’ I was drawn to math, and majored in math at university. Math problems had correct answers, without ambiguity. There were proofs in mathematics. Little did I know at the beginning that math and physics have limitations too: Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem showing that not everything can be proved; Einstein’s theory of relativity showing that truth depends on fluctuations in time and even that matter and energy are interchangeable.
Below is my late-life poem about a turning point conversation with my Dad when I was 18. The revelation that my all-wise Dad had doubts set me on the path of breaking away from my need for certainty – a trek that continues into my retirement years. Even while seeking curiosity and an open mind, one comes to value the priority questions of life. What makes for a good life? How can one show love of neighbour when one’s family and work responsibilities are overwhelming? How can one contribute to one’s community in varying ways across the life span? How can one use one’s talents and gifts in major decisions and in everyday life? How to live in the present moment? How to grow in well-analyzed knowledge while holding one’s truths lightly?
Across a good long life, we learn that easy answers are suspect and may lead to closemindedness and defensiveness. Alternatively, seeking out the best questions leaves us open to lifelong learning and opportunities to widen our horizons and often to new relationships with people we would not otherwise encounter.
Car Talk
By: Ellen Ryan
